In literature, the Romantic Hero is an eternal optimist. They somehow know how to turn even the most desperate situations into an opportunity and—to the outsider at least—may appear to rebound quickly from setbacks. In truth, they keenly feel every bump and bruise. They just stubbornly choose to believe that the heartache is worthwhile, that each obstacle and roadblock is temporary, and that their eventual victory will be all the sweeter for all the tears.
Cress and Winter from The Lunar Chronicles are two of my favorite examples of romantic heroes. I love the way that Marissa Meyers took two fairy tales about damsels in distress and transformed them into examples of women of substance. Despite the cruel abuses they suffered at the hands of a wicked Queen, they still held onto their hope of seeing a better world for their people. Instead of accepting the system they lived in, they found to improve it—not to benefit themselves in the short-term, but to benefit others in the long run.
One thing I’ve noticed about the Romantic Heroes is they’re the world-changers. They’re the community builders who are constantly looking for new ways to welcome others in, and who aim to ensure those who are typically overlooked or ignored feel seen and hears. Romantic heroes are willing to do whatever it takes—even if it means risking a bit of personal pain along the way to do so—but their sympathetic natures can also take on extra emotional burdens they’re not meant to carry. This in turn can leave them feeling exhausted, helpless, and overwhelmed.
What helps them? Discovering the kindred spirits in their community. Knowing they don’t stand alone. And feeling like they’re being supported by others who see and care for those who are marginalized or who are unable to speak for themselves.
The Romantic Hero as a Writer
Like the reckless hero, the romantic hero is driven by the heart rather than the head. Their great capacity for empathy and compassion combined with their ideal visions of the future can be a powerful tool—or a great distraction. Especially when personal fears or past hurts are the driving catalyst for action (or inaction). When looking at a list of all the things you could be doing with your time, ask yourself: “Is engaging in this activity the best way to use my time and physical/emotional resources to move toward my ultimate goal?” If the answer is No or Maybe, set it aside. You can always come back to it later, or you might discover that you can make a difference in other ways.
Please note that being emotionally invested in a cause or in serving others is not the same thing as co-dependency or people-pleasing. As Romantic Heroes, it’s important to learn the importance of healthy boundaries. Recognizing that you can’t fix everything or make everyone happy (in life or with your writing) is not only vital for your well-being, but also essential for your creativity.
Writers who identify with this type of character often present their best face to the world. And while they truly do look for the rainbow in the storm, they might not always be the best at spotting where the storm has caused damage in its wake. As a result, they might not be aware of a trouble spot in their writing or in their personal life until it’s too late. And since they’re so great at putting on a smile, others might not recognize their need for help until it becomes a crisis.
If this sounds a bit like you, I have three tips that I hope will help aid you on your way:
- Practice self-care. Remember it’s okay to acknowledge your hurts when things don’t go as planned. By recognizing the pain you can determine the cause and look for ways to work around it or through it in a timely and healthy manner.
- Share your concerns/fears with a kindred spirit. You aren’t being a burden by asking for help. In fact, your friends and support team would love it if you would!
- Write through the process. It’ll help you understand what you’re feeling in the moment. It could also bring a ray of light into someone else’s storm down the road.
- Bonus: Befriend a Reluctant Hero. These are the writers with a cautious nature that stems from a desire for stability. Their calm and loyal nature can serve as a safe haven when life feels overwhelming.
—Jen